Silence of Mouth and Mind 5: First Meditation

Following lunch and a rest period we reassembled in the main hall for group meditation.  Being a vipassana rookie, I forgot my meditation cushion and by the time I'd returned all the good spots were taken, leaving me with the dreaded space directly in front of the instructor.  A careless drop of my #16 Greg Biffle pillow earned a glower from said instructor.  Prior to this I hadn't been at all sure the instructor was human.  He'd looked for all the world like a victim of a body snatching.  I couldn't tell from his compressed lips if it was the noise or the pillow itself that offended.  Maybe you can answer that for me: Is it wrong to sit on the face of a 3M-sponsored NASCAR driver?  I consoled myself with the possibility that the instructor had had a traumatic experience with scotch tape.  Calling forth my best face of equanimity, I lowered myself onto the pillow and, looking squarely at the instructor, showed off a bit by adopting full lotus.

The instructor began the session by describing the anapana meditation technique of paying attention to the tips of your nostrils as you breathe.  He said we would practice this for the first three days.  That would be 30 hours (10 hours of meditation per day) of nostril awareness!  Now, I've done this brand of meditation many times, but even so, it's surprisingly hard to maintain concentration.  Thoughts fly in and carry you away for minutes at a time.  I was looking forward to honing my skill, so began with eagerness.

The eagerness lasted 3 breaths.   That's when the tickle started.  I could feel a violent sneeze coming.  I tried, really, but couldn't stop it.  And I didn't get my arm up in time to protect the instructor.  As if that weren't bad enough, I could feel my overlong nose hair coaxing out another one.  If your nose is so important to meditation, why don't they provide care instructions when you enroll?  For explanation, I pointed to my nostrils and made the chomping scissors sign.  I can't understate the amount of disdain in the instructor's look.  Can I have been the first student plagued by untrimmed nose hair?

It was clear I wasn't getting any help from the instructor.  I was gonna have to tough it out.  And I did, in my own way, which will be explained next time.