Friday, October 8, 2010

New Class Announcement: Yo-Gas!

We're very excited to announce a new class here at Cheever Yoga.  We call it yo-gas!

We recognize there are many out there who want the flexibility and balance that yoga practice brings, but who also want to burn calories while doing it.  So, in order to provide an outlet for these sweataholics we've come up with this new class.  It differs from our standard classes by incorporating weights, aerobics benches, and any other suitable equipment.  And it doesn't fall into the "yogalates" category.

Some of the exercises are:
-Hopping tree: hopping on and off an aerobics bench in tree pose, alternating feet in mid-air.
-Frisky dog: down dog-chataranga-up dog cycles; one cycle per breath
-Happy superbaby: happy baby pose reps done with 5 pound weights resting on each foot.
-Ultimate warrior: a warrior I-II-III sequence with rows done with a 15 pound weight in the off arm in the warrior III phase
-Pony: cat-cow stretches with a partner sitting on your back.

Bring your Polar F4 heart rate monitors and watch the calorie count skyrocket.  Liz, who has a background in yoga, pilates, and all manner of physical exertions, will lead this high energy class.  Tell your friends to join us...if they're tough enough!

No sweat stain no gain!

Dallas

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Yoga Class Dos and Don'ts

While those of us in the yoga community are pretty darn laid back, there are a few things that do get our backs up (other than cat stretch).  As Liz mentioned in her post on setting an intention, yoga is about you, only you.  Class is your time.  It's when you focus only on yourself, leaving aside your daily cares.  So the yoga don'ts are things that contradict this intention.

DO come to class on time.  Arriving late means you've let your daily cares eat into your time.  And that's just not right.  Late entry can disturb newer students who haven't yet acquired the ability to maintain focus.  And there's nothing worse than a sudden draft of winter air in the middle of camel.

DON'T eat within an hour before class.  You don't want to upchuck in down dog.  And, speaking of opening doors, to avoid starting a draft yourself avoid dairy products, nuts, lentils, etc.  And especially avoid cabbage and cauliflower since they'll make your draft an ill wind.

DO go to the bathroom right before class.  I don't have to explain the whys and wherefores of this, do I?

DON'T forget your eye pillow.  Savasana just isn't the same without it.  It really enhances relaxation, especially when lavender scented.

DO come out of your pose if you have to sneeze.  We had an unfortunate incident last night when a student in warrior I sneezed so violently that he toppled over.  Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal, but his cranium whacked a packing crate behind the loading dock.  We had to stop our intended sequence and rest in savasana until the paramedics came.

DON'T stare at other students.  Yoga is about you, not the hot chick two mats over.  Remember, this is Breast CANCER Awareness month, not breast awareness month.

DO respect the teacher and other students.  More often than I care to remember I've heard mutterings like "You've got to be sh****** me" when I call for a challenging pose.  That kind of thought and language is fine for the job site or a call with your stock broker, but not yoga class.

DON'T talk with other students during class.  Or pass notes.  Again, yoga is about you.  It's not about socializing, gossiping or interrogating others about the latest school lice outbreak.

DO turn off any electronic devices.  Think airplane takeoff.  A ringing cellphone will interfere with your personal navigation system.

DON'T be embarrassed if you do have gas.  Hey, it happens.  We are animals, after all.  If you know things are iffy before class, choose a back corner spot away from a fan.  You do not have to announce to everyone that you're having a flatulent evening beforehand, although it's a great way to increase your personal space!

DO keep within your limits.  Stretch, don't strain.

DON'T show off.  You aren't in class to prove how superior you are to everyone else.  Yoga isn't a spectator sport (with a few regrettable exceptions), so nobody is paying attention to you anyway.  As an intermediate or advanced student, don't attend a beginning class for the purpose of humiliation.

DO commit yourself to savasana.  Often times people lose focus toward the end of class, turning their minds to their to-do list.  A good savasana is extraordinarily revitalizing.  Really sink into it and lose yourself.  You'll thank yourself later.

Namaste,

Dallas

Monday, October 4, 2010

Rise and Shine Borderland

Hey you!  Yeah you in International Falls and Fort Frances.  The best time for sun salutations is before the sun is up.  Call 'em moon salutations if you like.  For those of you on your morning commute (those of you texting and browsing while driving), I just checked on flights from International Falls to Fort Frances.  And you wanna know the funny thing?  They're cheaper than paying the bridge toll!  Now you know.

Get outside, take a few lungfulls of that balmy 40 degree air.  You can taste what a great day it's gonna be.  Wow.  If I sound a little excited, well, I just drank 4 k-cups of Caribou Coffee Sumatran.  I love my Keurig Mini.  It's like my own personal joy dispenser.  If that sounds pavlovian, you're right.

Another reason for my fantastic mood is that Vishnu, my 93 LeBaron, has found a new home.  More later.  I gotta run around the block a couple of times.  Wow.

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Ignobility of Attorneys

As you know by now, we're waist deep in lawyering to get our studio space back. The thing about lawyers is that you're never just ankle or knee deep. And when I say deep, I mean deep in debt. And when you hire the best, like Wasumata Sosumi, costs get exponential. So, do you see the point I'm driving home?

Well, there's the irony. I won't be driving home, at least not in Vishnu. Here's a photo of Vish.
Vishnu isn't the destroyer for no reason.  As you can see he's put the hurt on International Falls motorists with all points of his bodywork.

I'm weeping as I type this, but it's become necessary to sell this fine automobile.  This was to be Malmo's first car.  And a better first car a kid could never have.  It's a 93 LeBaron as you can see from Malmo's carefully applied shoe polish.  And the spelling offers a glimpse into the quality of education at Falls High.

All we're asking for this historic automobile is $7,500.  That'll almost cover 4 hours of filing briefs.  I wish I could tell you your purchase is tax deductible, unfortunately no profit doesn't make us a non-profit in the feds' eyes.

Why do you want this car?  Why don't you??  Did you know in '93 Chrysler redesigned the LeBaron.  It's got non-hiding headlights.  It has the sexy J body with front wheel drive.  It's a ragtop.  Tell me, honestly, would anyone rather have one of those lame new Sebrings or this baby?  It's perfect for cruising 3rd Street for chicks.  A LeBaron tells all the girls you've got that "je ne sais quoi".

You'll notice the right rear hubcab is missing.  Do you know why?  We ran short of plates while tailgating at a Broncos game a some years back and so that did it in a pinch.  As the gang and I were digging into franks and beans who shows up?  Good old Bronco himself.  Nagursky in the flesh.  And he was kind enough to autograph the hubcap.  So we keep it on the mantel now.  And it's just not right to replace that hubcap.  When I see it missing I think of Bronco and how we all miss him.  Think of that black, forlorn circle as a memorial to the great man.  And think of Vishnu as a fine-tuned linebacker itching to deal out punishment to anything that crosses its path.

Now here's the truly amazing part.  After Bronco signed the hubcap he sat down with us for a beer and some chow.  And you know where he sat?  In the passenger seat of Vishnu.  Drive this LeBaron and a football god will be your copilot.  This car is a dead steal at $7,500.  Act this weekend and we'll let you take a photo of the car with the autographed hubcap!!

Namaste,

Dallas